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"The Epitome of Stupidity"
- The Incredible Mr. Pitts, June 5th, 2008.

Enjoy the TMP thread here.


Never one to let it go, The Incredible Mr. Pitts sent this email to Steve.

"Permission to show screenshots from The Miniatures Page granted by TMP."


Mr. Pitts gives us another trophy!

This TMP thread is pure GREATNESS.

So Mr. Pitts responds on his own website....

I have my own little 'trophy'...being put in the doghouse for this...

There is also this...

The unedited version looked like this: (I have no idea what the Armadillo Soldier Shop reference is about)

Mr. Smith,
You continue your libel after having been shown to be in the wrong to begin with (with regards to Skirmish), and even after you have been warned both by me and your internet provider service to stop.

Why not instead spend your time telling us all why your affiliation with the Armadillo Soldier Shop in Dallas, Texas was so abruptly terminated?

It would seem that the last thing you would want publicized is the incident in question.

I cannot tell you the number of people that have come to me since the incident with you and your associates at the event you call "Skirmish", who have told me quite simply, "Greg, you were in the right". Little wonder, IMHO, why your "con" continues to have smaller and smaller attendance each year.

So go ahead Mr. Smith and continue your rants, so that all may know what you are.

When I make a mistake, and I make my fair share, I am man enough to own up to it and apologize. If you do not accept the apology then at that point the problem is not with me, but with you.

Let it go!

The original 2008 event....

The reviews are in! The Irregulars put another trophy on their wall!
(Except for Kenny's, these quotes are real. The credits are fake.)

"He's not coming to Skirmish, GOOD, he can F--- HIMSELF!!" - The New York Times

"The arrogant prick." - Senator Barack Obama

"Tell him where to shove it, what angle to shove it in at and how far he can shove it." - Charles Bronson

"If I never see the lying, conniving S.O.B. again in my lifetime, I won't consider it a loss." - Nolan Ryan

"Greg Pitts is a dick with ears." - Heidi Fleiss

"Mmm mmmmm m mmm mmmmmm!" - Kenny

"And those are the facts, Mr. Pitts. If that is your real name. And I am sure it is. It suits you perfectly." - Snoop Dogg

The DFWIrregulars are a group of wargamers in the DFW area dedicated to historical miniatures wargaming. We
have hosted a little game day each year since 2006. We call it Skirmish. We do this because there isn't a
historical gaming convention in the Dallas/Fort Worth area anymore and this is our little contribution. We make
no money on the deal and just do it for fun. It is a one-day event because a three-day convention is too much work
for us. This is the email trail of an interesting story involving an interesting person named Greg Pitts....

This is a much shortened version of the emails, because the guys asked me to remove them from it. So I'm just
including Greg's initial emails up to the bomb he dropped and my replies to him.

I posted a link to this on the Ancient Empires Yahoo group where Greg had posted the same message about us,
but he deleted it and removed my membership.

Thursday, June 5th, 2008

First Email from Greg Pitts received 9:21 AM
Subject: Skirmish '08

Did I say something wrong? I have sent you two emails regarding the game day and have not received a response.
Perhaps your email is down, so I am ccing Clay and Steve on this as well.
I wanted to know that if I wanted to put on an AE2 game, were there any slots open for the 2 PM session.
Greg Pitts

Reply All from Clay, 9:24 AM
Subject: Re: Skirmish '08

I would like to have Greg's game on the schedule. This is the type of game that I would gladly move to 7 PM to accommodate.

Reply All from Greg, 9:32 AM
Subject: Re: Skirmish '08

If the schedule is full, it’s full. I don’t want to bump anyone. If 2 PM is not available, let me know what time slots are available and I will see what I can do.
Greg Pitts

Reply All from Clay, 12:30 PM
Subject: Re: Skirmish '08

Greg, we will do well to have 75 people. The two tournies may account for 20 players, so the way I see it we are at player capacity at 2 PM. If we get more games that could change

At 1:18 PM, I received this little bundle of email joy from Greg. It is blind carbon-copied, so I have no idea
who actually received it. But I know many of the same people as Greg, so I can guess....(At the time I assumed all five of the
DFWIrregulars received this, but later found out that only Steve Miller and myself were included in Greg's distribution.
We must be on his 'friends' list....

Subject: Are we really so stupid?

My friends and fellow gamers,
This is just a note to say that I for one will not be attending Skirmish ’08. It was brought to my attention that one of our fellow gamers wanted to put on an event at Skirmish ’08,
but was told no, once the organizers found out that the game was a RPG game; specifically called “Occult Wars”. I know nothing about the game itself, so I looked online:
“Occult Wars is a set of rules that allow you to fight battles of good versus evil. You can recreate many of your favourite horror
characters portrayed in books, film and TV. Be they blade wielding day walkers, or Muffy slaying vampires with the aid of her crew. If
you wish, you can even choose to fight on the side of darkness; have your own werewolf clan or vampire coven. Be a warlock or witch.
You choose the legends and background to Occult Wars. If your vampires laugh at crosses and silver then make them that way. If a
silver bullet should send them back to hell then build that in to your background. The choice of what traits and vulnerabilities your
characters have is up to you. These rules are designed for flexibility and will not tie you to one person’s view of what a monster should
be like”.
OK, so I went a bit further and asked some others about the game:

From the responses, I don’t see a problem.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines “Occult” as:

“Of, relating to, or dealing with supernatural influences, agencies, or phenomena.
Beyond the realm of human comprehension; inscrutable.
Available only to the initiate; secret: occult lore. See Synonyms at mysterious.
Hidden from view; concealed
I respect the right of any event organizer to restrict the events that will take place to those they deem are within the scope of the event. These restrictions must however be
disclosed, and the Skirmish ’08 website mentions nothing about any game type restrictions:

The menu of games includes “Sci-Fi”; WWII “Sci-Fi”; and God forbid, “Pulp Fiction: “Dancing girls! Zombies! Nazis! …” …

Dancing girls? Zombies? Nazis?... But no; sorry, nothing that includes the work “Occult”.

I for one, find an inconsistency here.

The event which was not allowed was:


You'll have to excuse the format, as I cannot use Adobe Acrobat on this computer. I hope this format works. Here's the synopsis of the event I'd like to run:

Game Master - Mark Mahan

Session - 2 P. M. (Preferred, if possible. Got a thing for Steve's gladiator games)
Event Name - Something Rotten in Mesquite

Era - Modern Fantasy

Figures - 25mm

No. of Players - 6

Rules - Occult Wars

Event Description -

Something is not quite right in Old Mesquite, TX. Sightings of strange creatures roaming at night are prevalent. Strange happenings at the full moon
have been occuring for months and have ranchers flumoxed. Missing persons reports are on the rise. A cable worker's chance encounter with an agressive dog in
an alley leads to the discovery of a vampire's nest. Too bad for the Undead: the cable guy is a member of an elite vampire-slaying consortium dedicated to
eradicating the Undead and their ilk. The Watchers within the group report the Reborn have been congregating throughout DFW; to what purpose remains
unclear. Under cover of a staged cable outage, the group prepares to assault the compound and methodically eradicate all within. Providing backup are some
-intentioned rednecks from the surrounding area, bent on payback for livestock mutilation, and a few urban thugs whose stables have been thinned by
thirsty Reborn. Will the stalwart vampire hunters complete their mission? Or will the creatures of the night repel the forces of righteousness? Come find out...”

The response that Mark received was;

Thanks for offering to run a game at Skirmish. This event was always intended to be more-or-less historical games only. We have strayed off of this requirement to some
extent (possibly more than we should have). I have discussed your game proposal with the other guys who run the Skirmish show and we don't feel like Occult Wars is a game
system that is appropriate for what we are trying to do.

Also, our 2pm time slot is full; we do not need any more games in that session. If you possibly have another game you might be able to run, 9am would be the best time.

Again, thanks for the effort and we hope you understand our position.
Allen Eldridge”

Curious, I enquired about running an AE2 game in the 2PM time slot. After sending two emails to Allen and receiving no response, I sent him a third, copying Clay Smith and
Steve Miller. Amazingly, I received a response: “Greg,
No idea what happened to other emails, I did not ever see them, oh well! I got your emails from today.

We certainly welcome your game.

It is not so much that 2pm is "full" as far as table space (although I have not laid out the room, I am sure we are OK), it is more a matter of "game slots" vs. "number of people to
plug into game slots". Right now we have:

9am - 7 events - 40 slots
2pm - 8 events - 56 slots
7pm - 7 events - 38 slots

So, as you can see 2pm is already pretty heavy as far as events and slots. (these numbers don't count the 2 tourneys). There is not a whole lot of point in having events with no
players to play them.

If you really need to do 2pm, you can, but I think 9am would be my first choice and 7pm my second choice as far as our needs.

As we can plainly see, the 2PM time slot was/is not full as Mark was told, and it seems that the convention organizers decided to censure his event simply because it was what
they deem a “Role Playing Game”.

In a time where miniature gaming is on the wane, and the simple fact that fantasy games and not historical games attract the most people, I cannot for the life of me understand
anyone holding an event that would preclude a certain audience from the event, particularly when the event site does not specifically state what will and what will not be allowed.

This is the epitome of stupidity, in my opinion.

Good luck guys! Continue to think small!

It appears to me you have a severe case of “Lone Star Historical Miniatures-itus”.

Get your shots.


Greg Pitts

Posted on Sunday, June 8th at 12:22 PM on The Miniatures Page...

Dearest Clay Smith & Steve Miller(pilum40),

There is no sense in the two of you trying to get on my good side by continuing your string of old folk stories that go
back some 30 years. While I know you are well intended, some people might get the wrong idea (if you know what I mean).
Many people know how close the two of you are, and how much time the two of you have spent together in sacrifice
of friend and family. Some might even use the word that the two of you are "tight".
But no matter; even though you continue to come forth and throw palm leaves, I have no intention of joining you for a menage a trois.
Sorry guys, I'm just not interested.

Have a nice life!

- Greg

 is the super-secret complete email chain.